


In the Middle of the Night (When You Knock Santa Out)

by how_about_no



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Get it?, M/M, POV Louis, harry is head elf, louis is santa's son, niall liam and zayn are in there too, nick tries to nick presents, saving christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5505137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_about_no/pseuds/how_about_no
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is Santa's son and is sick of having his birthday forgotten, but when he accidentally knocks Santa out, it's up to him and Harry to save Christmas.<br/>Niall and Liam are big children, Zayn is a drunk, Nick is a thief, and there's a whole lot of craziness on this Christmas Eve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Middle of the Night (When You Knock Santa Out)

There’s a loud buzzing somewhere by Louis’ head, rudely interrupting his dream about living in a house made of pancakes with a certain someone. He flings his arm out and accidentally knocks his alarm clock off the bedside table. Cursing under his breath, he squints open an eye to see the empty spot where the device once was.

“I guess I’m never waking up again.” Louis rolls onto his side and pulls the duvet to his chest, planning on dozing for a while before getting up and facing the cold world outside. There’s a huge crash from that world and Louis mumbles about _stupid elves_ and _bloody presents_ as he climbs out of bed and slips on some jeans to go and harass his father.

It’s his birthday after all, he’s allowed.

The workshop is only a few minutes away, in a renovated old barn straight off a Christmas card. It’s fitting, really. Snow clings to the logs that make up the exterior, and on the inside it smells like cinnamon and a burning fire. It’s almost like a happy home apart from the hundreds of elves running around, sweating and panicking over whether the presents will be ready in time.

“Bill!” Louis shoots finger guns at an elf currently tying a bow around a beautifully wrapped box, “Andy, how the hell are ya?” He skips past another, laughing when he drops the toy he was holding in shock, “Susie, darling, great handiwork on the bikes this year.” He shouts over to the workshop before scanning the room for his dad. He spots him over in the corner, sitting at a desk surrounded by papers, his head in his hands, the classic red suit rumpled and dirty.

“Daddio!” Louis sings cheerfully, coming to a stop in front of him and grinning like Christmas has come early, “Something you want to say to me?”

“Go home, Louis.” Santa warily lifts his head up and pulls a piece of paper towards him, starting to scribble on it with a crease in his brow.

“Wrong!” Louis purses his lips, “Try again?”

“Louis,” Santa looks up at him with tired eyes, “I have an endless amount of work to do before 7oclock so if you could kindly spend some time at the house until then, I’d appreciate it.”

“I-” Louis’ heard sinks until he hears the crash again, from somewhere near the house. A very familiar voice follows it, shouting and sounding like they are about ready to rip their lovely curly hair out, “Will be at the house if you need me.”

Santa doesn’t bother replying as Louis wanders off and back towards the house. He rubs his hands up and down his arms, regretting not bringing a coat. For some reason, he tends to always forget that just because he lives in the North Pole, he does not have an extra layer of skin that protects him from the cold.

“Having some trouble?” Louis comes to a stop, smirking at the scene in front of him. Harry looks completely flustered, his lips red and puffy from being bitten to death, his green tights and long jumper ruffled and covered in matted snow. He looks close to crying in frustration.

“Not at all.” Harry’s frown deepens as he moves a chocolate curl behind his ear, scrutinising the sleigh, one of its runners laying on the ground, completely detached.

“Ouch,” Louis walks a few steps closer, tutting, “That can’t be good.”

“It’s not good!” Harry suddenly yells, then readjusts his pointy green hat that nearly fell off in shock, “What am I going to do? I’m going to get fired.”

“Dad likes you far too much to fire you, Haz,” Louis rolls his eyes and crouches to have a look at the damage, “Hence why you’re his right hand man at 19.”

“I’d like to think it’s because of my irreplaceable skills.” Louis looks up to see Harry stood with a cocked hip, nibbling on his thumb nervously while Louis holds the runner up to where it’s meant to be. What he would give to be at this level with Harry in a completely different context.

“You’d like to think so.” Louis shakes the thought off and looks back at the bottom of the sleigh. He could probably get a power drill and get it sorted out straight away. He stands up, ready to tease Harry for a bit and milk the fact that he did something wrong for once in his life, but the boy is looking at him so hopefully, practically sucking on his thumb for comfort, “I can have it sorted in ten.”

“Thank God.” Harry pulls him into a completely unexpected but happily welcomed hug, and Louis only gains the composure to hug him back once he’s already gone, “Get going! Father Christmas cannot find out about this.”

“Lying to my father, are we?” Louis raises an eyebrow, “Didn’t see you as such a rebel. It’s kind of hot.”

“Shut up and fix it, Lewis.” Harry narrows his eyes and crosses his arms defensively.

“Eugh, you know I hate that.” Louis starts backing away with a grimace.

“Hence why I used it,” Harry points to the tool shed, “Leave.”

“Bossy,” Louis smirks, “It’s kind of ho-”

“I’m not listening anymore.” Harry interrupts him and turns away before Louis can pout at him. He sighs and resolves to just getting the job done and flirting with Harry again later.

He gets back to the sleigh a few minutes later and Harry stays completely silent as he gets to work. Harry watches with wide, panicked eyes as Louis fixes the sleigh. It’s not that difficult, and is done quickly, but even then, Louis doesn’t really mind silence when he’s with Harry. It’s better than being shouted at for getting in the way.

“That should do it.” Louis dusts his hands off as he stands up and admires his work.

“Great,” Harry straightens himself up as if he was never curling in on himself in worry, “I have a lot of stuff to do, so go home.”

“I just helped you,” Louis scoffs, “Don’t be so rude.”

“Keep that ending to this encounter,” Harry starts to walk away and doesn’t bother looking back, “Knowing you, you’ll just get in my way later and ruin everything.”

“No I wouldn’t.” Louis kicks some of the snow at his feet petulantly, watching Harry disappear around the corner and ignore him.

He resolves to go to his favourite place in the house to make himself feel better.

The wine cellar.

The further into it he goes, the older the wine gets, and therefore the more expensive. Since his dad seems to not give a damn that Louis turns 21 today, he will just have to give _himself_ a present. The whole room is dusty, no one having been down here for a long time. The racks are made of oak and creak when Louis pushes against them as he walks by. He doesn’t stop until he’s at the back wall, then smiles when he sees a large bottle covered in a thick layer of dust.

“Perfect.” Louis whispers, carefully pulling it out of its slot. He blows away the must and chokes slightly when it blows back in his face. 1756, well old. Probably very expensive, “Fuck you dad,” Louis pops off the top, “And _fuck you,_ Harry. In every way possible.” He takes a swig and coughs at the bitter taste.

He grimaces and pulls the bottle away from his face, then shrugs and brings it back again. If he’s going to get plastered, it doesn’t matter what on.

As long as it pisses off his dad.

4 hours later finds Louis sat at the dining room table, spinning the empty bottle in front of him and ranting to the moose head mounted on the wall.

“I bet he didn’t forget my birthday, you know.” Louis smacks his lips together, “I bet he knows what fucking day it is but can’t be bothered to celebrate it because _Christmas_ is more important.” Louis waves his hand out and accidentally knocks the bottle off the table, doesn’t even blink at the crash, “I’m his bloody kid! I’m important!” Someone comes in the door but Louis doesn’t notice, “Harry didn’t say happy birthday,” His voice lowers to a hushed whisper, “I just wanted to have a nice birthday.”

“Louis?” Santa’s voice comes from the hallway.

“Oh, he knows my name.” Louis remarks to the moose. The moose says nothing.

“Where are you?”

“ _Now_ he cares.” Louis snorts. The moose remains silent.

“Wh-woah-AHH!” There’s a yell and a thud then everything goes silent.

“Um,” Louis turns around to see his dad on the floor, “You okay?”

Santa says nothing.

The moose also says nothing.

Louis scurries over to him and quickly puts two fingers to his neck, feeling a steady pulse under his fingertips. Okay, so not dead. He looks around to find what he slipped on and sees a shard of glass a few feet away.

“Thank you, karma.” Louis smiles, looking down at his dad, completely unconscious.

“Okay,” A familiar, chocolate-y voice comes from the doorway and into the house, “The bags are in the sleigh and everyone has gone home for the night. We need to get going right away or- Louis!”

“It’s a me, Mario.” Louis tips his head back and smiles at Harry, whom has dropped his clipboard with a clatter and is staring at the scene in front of him with wide eyes, “You look like a frog right now.”

“Wha- What- uh- what the fuck did you do?” Harry screeches, running over to Santa and checking his pulse.

“Sshh,” Louis puts a finger on his lips, “Don’t swear, he’ll learn bad habits.” He points into the dining room.

“That is a moose’s head, Louis.” Harry doesn’t even look vaguely amused. Then again, Louis wasn’t trying to be funny. The moose has feelings, “What did you do to Santa?”

“I did nothing,” Louis pouts, “The karma did it.”

“The karma?” Harry shakes his head, standing up, “Are you drunk?”

“Yo.” Louis laughs, “I combined the words.”

“You’re drunk.” Harry takes off his hat and runs a hand through his hair.

“Pretty pixie.” Louis lies down on his back and looks at the ceiling, not quite catching all of Harry’s ongoing rant.

“What are we going to do about the presents?” Harry laughs manically, “Christmas is cancelled. Everything is ruined.”

“No!” Louis stumbles to his feet and points at Harry, “We are going to do this-”

“We?”

“We can work together.”

“Together.” Harry states blankly.

“Together!” Louis throws his arms up and giggles at Harry’s affronted expression.

“You can’t come with me, you are completely pissed.”

“I have a question,” Louis steps forwards and bops Harry on the nose, giggles again, then tries to copy Harry’s serious expression, “Do you know how to fly the sleigh?”

“I-” Harry purses his lips, “No.”

“Who knows how to fly the sleigh?” Louis steps back again and spins in a circle, his arms wide.

“Santa.”

“Aaaaand?”

“You.” Harry sighs.

“Yes!” Louis points at him with a victorious laugh, “I know how to drive the sleigh.”

“But you’re drunk.” Harry raises an eyebrow,

“Nes!”

“Actually,” A smile slowly spreads across his face and Louis loves it, “I have just the solution for that.”

“Yay!” Louis yells, “Road trip!”

 

“Here.” After about ten minutes of watching Harry wander around the workshop kitchen, muttering to himself and pouring various things in a glass, he finally hands Louis it with a smile.

“Well, okay then.” Louis brings the green-y blue liquid to his lips before Harry suddenly snatches it away, “Wha-?”

“You don’t drink it!” Harry squeaks, like it’s obvious. A curl falls from behind his ear and Louis reaches a hand out to put it back, pursing his lips in concentration. Harry blanches, his mouth gaping.

“Carry on.” Louis brings his hand back and smiles drunkenly. Harry is very pretty when he’s flustered.

“Uh- um.” Harry shakes his head and gains his composure again, bringing the glass up and suddenly throwing the liquid in Louis’ face. Some of it splatters into his open mouth and it tastes like dirty bath water filled with herbs. He smacks his lips together, grimacing at the bitter taste.

“What was that for?” He squawks, suddenly feeling far more sober than before.

“You don’t drink it,” Harry smirks.

“You little shit.” Louis can’t help but laugh.

“Come on,” Harry scurries round the table and grabs Louis’ arm, “We need to go.”

“Let’s save Christmas!” Louis smiles, leading the way.

“You’re the one that ruined it in the first place, Louis.”

“Details.” Louis waves a dismissive hand as they run to the sleigh.

 

“Oh my god.” Louis stops and turns to Harry with what can only be described as pure glee, “I need to go back and get some things.

“No.” Harry says, “We need to go.”

“You know how this works, Harry,” Louis rolls his eyes, “We have all the time in the world. I’ll be right back.” He quickly runs back to the house and grabs his backback from the cupboard by the door. There are a few things in the kitchen he needs, purely alcohol based. Maybe some food, snacks for the journey. Then an idea pops into his head. He runs into the bedroom as fast as he can and opens the wardrobe, grinning.

“I,” He grabs the suit from a hanger, “Am a genius.”

 

“What on earth are you wearing?” Harry slap a hand over his mouth to smother his laugh.

“I have to look the part, don’t I?” Louis pulls the red, fluffy suit away from his body and giggles at how big it is on him. If he’s going to be Santa tonight, then wearing the suit is really a given. “You know, Harold, I bet you would fit in here.”

Harry’s eyes widen in fear and he steps back, bumping into the sleigh.

“Don’t you dare, Tomlinson.” He moves sideways when Louis takes a step towards him.

“You know you want to.” Louis smirks, holding the material away from him, “Come join me.”

“No!” Harry squeaks when Louis chases him. He runs around the sleigh shouting and screaming at Louis to ‘stop!’ and ‘I don’t want to’ and ‘Evil!’.

“It’s a snuggle jumper!” Louis laughs, slipping on the snow slightly and using the sleigh to keep upright. Harry is at the other end of it, breathing heavily. Louis quickly moves to his left, and Harry moves to his. With a chuckle, Louis keeps moving side to side and watches Harry jerk in the opposite direction a few feet away.

“I don’t want to snuggle with you.” Harry says, face stoic, and Louis pouts.

“But why?” He whines, stomping his feet.

“Reasons.” Harry narrows his eyes when Louis rolls the large sleeves up.

“Well,” Louis purses his lips, “I guess I’ll just have to make you.”

“NO!” Harry yells when Louis runs after him again. It’s hard to make sharp turns in a huge Santa suit, on soft snow, but Louis is determined. They’re just running in circles around the sleigh at this point, so Louis stops, spins around and Harry bumps straight into his front from where he had caught up to him in the cycle.

“Got you!” Louis squeals in delight and pulls up the jacket, engulfing Harry in it, even when he struggles.

“It smells like boy.” Harry struggles to the point where Louis loses his balance and they topple over so he is on his back with Harry trapped inside the jacket on top of him.

“You oaf,” Louis lets out a heavy breath, “You’re crushing me.”

“Well if someone hadn’t have trapped me in Santa’s bloody suit!” Harry’s voice is muffled through the material but at least he has stopped struggling.

“Just give in to the snuggle, Harry,” Louis pats where he thinks his head is, “Give in to the snuggle.”

“Never.” Harry says, still not moving. They stay like that for a moment, just the buzzing of Christmas lights around the little town stopping the silence.

“We should probably go.” Louis says, staring at the stars above him.

“Will you release me?”

“Maybe.”

 

“What does this button do?” Louis goes to press it and Harry slaps his hand away with a sigh.

“I don’t know,” He looks at Louis incredulously, “Aren’t you meant to know this stuff? You’re the one who can fly the sleigh.”

“I can fly it,” Louis tilts his head, “Buttons, however.”

“We are off to a great start.” Harry leans back in his seat, his hair still mussed from when he awkwardly climbed out of the Santa suit.

“Wait,” Louis frowns at the elf’s head, “Didn’t you have a hat?” Harry’s hands fly to his head and his eyes widen.

“Where’s my hat?!” He panics, looking over the edge of the sleigh and onto the floor frantically.

“Hm,” Louis pats his stomach and frowns, feeling more material than before. He reaches under the jacket and pulls out Harry’s hat, “Found it.” Harry’s head whips to him and he grabs the hat.

“It’s okay,” He coos at it, “You’re not near Louis’ smelly tummy anymore.”

“Hey,” Louis points at the hat, “I have a lovely tummy, don’t listen to him.”

“Don’t talk to my hat,” Harry frowns at him, “Only I can talk to my hat.”

“Twat.” Louis mutters and crosses his arms, seeing Harry happily slip his hat on in the corner of his eye.

“Right,” Harry pats the front of the sleigh, “Shall we?”

“Fine.” Louis goes to start the sleigh, “Wait,” He looks off in front of it, “Aren’t there usually reindeer?”

“Shit.”

 

“Now we have reindeer!” Louis shouts, “Let’s go!”

“Dancer, prancer, vixen-” Harry starts gleefully.

“The other one and those other ones!” Louis finishes and flips the start switch, grinning. “I haven’t done this in _years._ ”

“Wait,” Harry’s stares at him, “ _Years?”_

“Hi- _yah!”_ Louis whips the reigns and the reindeer start cantering forward, the sleigh giving off the magic fumes that give them the ability to fly.

“You haven’t done this in _years_?” Harry yells, “What the hell, Louis!”

“Stop panicking, Harry,” Louis smiles as they lift into the air, flying faster than Louis can remember, “I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike.”

 

“What does this button do?”

“I don’t know, Louis.”

“What about his one?”

“Nope.” Harry doesn’t even bother looking, instead he is staring out over the sea, a contemplative look on his face.

“You’re such a shit head elf.” Louis pouts, “You don’t know anything.”

“You’re Santa’s son,” Harry raises an eyebrow at the waves, “You should know more.

“Touché.” Louis presses a big blue button out of curiosity, only using one hand to hold the reigns.

“Um,” Harry frowns, his eyes wide, “What did you press?”

“Just this big blue-” Louis stops when he sees what Harry is staring at. The waves have stopped moving, “Jesus Christ.”

“At least we don’t have to press all the other buttons to find the one that stops time.” Harry purses his lips.

“Do we just leave it on pause for the whole night?” Louis stares at the button, knowing he doesn’t really have to watch the sky as there isn’t anything he can bump into apart from clouds.

“It kind of sounds too easy.” Harry screws his mouth up in thought.

“I don’t care,” Louis shrugs, “As long as we get the job done.”

“I feel like I’m forgetting something, though.” Harry stares at the frozen current and sits up straighter in his chair.

“You probably are,” Louis casts a sideways glance at him, “But it’ll come to you, I’m sure.”

“Sure.” Harry smiles slightly, “Let’s speed things up.” He pulls a lever that sits between them and the sleigh jolts forward, speeding up so everything around them blurs.

“I thought you said you didn’t know how to fly the sleigh!” Louis laughs.

“I don’t!” Harry grins, “That’s the extent of my knowledge!”

“Let’s deliver some fucking presents!”

 

“Ssshh.” Harry presses a finger to his lips.

“You ssshh, I am being perfectly ssshh.”

“Ssshhh isn’t an adjective, Louis.”

“Maybe not,” Louis whispers, raising an eyebrow, “But annoying and bossy are.”

“You’re such a child.”

“Better than being a stuck up prick, dear.” Louis winks as he places the small present under the family tree. It’s a nice house they’re in, in England. Louis kind of misses visiting his mum here. She moved a while back and never gave them an address. It’s a well known fact Santa has the address of everyone in the world, but for some reason he never gave Louis his mum’s.

“Let’s go.” Harry whispers delicately, and Louis shakes himself where he was staring at a picture on the mantelpiece.

Suddenly, the lights on the tree start flashing and flickering in a pretty pattern.

“Time has started again.” Louis breathes.

“Shit.” Harry grabs Louis’ arm and pulls him up the chimney and onto the ceiling where the sleigh is.

“Hang on,” Louis pulls his arm away and looks back at the chimney, “If time was stopped, why were we whispering?”

“I don’t know.” Harry shrugs, “It felt appropriate.”

Louis tilts his head in agreement and looks over the town. He knows they shouldn’t really be wasting time, but he feels nostalgic and wants to savour the moment.

“What’s that?” Harry interrupts his thoughts, pointing to a house over the road. In the window, there is a figure dressed in a Santa suit, doing something to the presents Louis and Harry had placed there just moments ago.

“Let’s find out.” Louis hops down from the roof, sliding onto the ground with ease (thank you North Pole gymnastics) and walks over the road, knocking on the window, “What the fuck are you doing?” He asks with raised, patronising eyebrows.

“Um,” The man replies. His hair is in a perfect quiff and he looks at least thirty. His Santa suit is cheap and ripped under the arms, as Louis can see from where he is shoving presents into a burlap sack, “Giving this house presents. I’m Santa.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“Hey!” Harry runs up behind him and promptly covers his pointy ears when he sees that there is someone watching them in the window.

“Did you have the same idea as me?” The man stands from his crouch and smiles, “Dressing as Santa _and_ an elf was a nice touch, I have to give that to you.”

“Who even are you?” Louis curls his lip back in disgust.

“Nick,” The man smirks, “I have a radio show.”

“Never heard of you.” Louis says, indifferent.

“I have!” Harry grins, speaking too loud because his hands are still covering his ears, “Its pretty good actually.”

“Thanks.” Nick cocks his hip, sending Harry a quite frankly predatory smile.

“I don’t like you.” Louis narrows his eyes, “You’re a thieving creep, get out of the house before I hurt you.”

“Alright, chill.” Nick grabs the sack and swings it over his shoulder, “I’ll just be taking my stuff-”

“Put the presents back,” Harry shuffles on his feet and then quickly adds, “Knob sack.” He looks mightily proud of himself for thinking of such an insult. Louis gives him an encouraging smile in support.

“Spoil sports.” Nick grumpily puts the presents back and slinks out the back door.

 

“So why did time start again?” Louis examines the dash of the sleigh, narrowing his eyes at the different buttons and switches.

“Maybe it’s on a timer.” Harry looks at them too, hovering his hand over them like he wants to touch but isn’t sure he’s allowed, “I mean, I don’t see an off switch or anything and it would be pretty bad if time stopped forever.”

“It would, wouldn’t it?” Louis presses the button again and feels the wind stop blowing, sees lights stop flashing and the world goes still.

 

They walk out of a house in Germany to hear rustling in the back of the sleigh.

“Hng, where am I?” A distinctly male, and English voice comes from amongst the presents. Louis guesses time has started again.

“Shit. Harry.” Louis’ eyes widen when a head pops up. He has dark skin and hair, also in a quiff like fake Santa. What is it with English people and quiffs?

“I know.” Is all Harry says in reply.

“He's English.”

“I know.”

“We are in Germany.”

“We are.”

“THIS IS A DISASTER.” Louis can’t take another thing going wrong, he just can’t.

“Shit.”

"Do you have any whiskey?" The man says, pulling himself into a seating position. He’s English _and_ drunk. Brilliant.

“No!” Harry squeaks, “Why would we have whiskey? We take our jobs very seriously.”

Louis puts his flask back in his pocket.

"Louis!” Harry rounds on him, “Why did you bring whiskey with you?"

"In case there was an emergency?"

"What would whiskey do in an emergency?"

"Calm the drunk that is still in our fucking sleigh!"

“Sleigh?” The drunk slurs “I'm in a sleigh?”

“Do you take anything seriously, Louis?!” Harry’s pupils darken and Louis purses his lips. Why does Harry get to constantly be rude and mean to him but never get anything back? Honestly, he doesn’t deserve Louis’ affection.

“Do you have any sense of fun?” Louis retorts, glaring.

“Are you guys elves?” The drunk lets his head fall on its side, staring as Harry and Louis fume at each other.

“You're Santa's son!” Harry waves a hand out to his side, “Surely you should have this in your blood. But no, you’ve fucked things up from square one.”

“Santa's... Son...” Louis isn’t really paying attention to the drunk anymore.

“Don’t you talk to me about my father! I will never be him and I’m glad.”

“At this point I wish you were him.”

“You say that like you didn’t before,” Louis snarls, “You’ve never liked me, Harry, don’t try say that like it’s my fault.”

“What is happening?!” Drunk squawks, arms flailing.

“NOT NOW.” They both yell back at him.

“You fucking-” Drunk stands up and sways on the stop, “Tell me what the fuck is going on- oh shit.”

He falls out of the sleigh and into the gravel like a brick.

"Well shit." Louis states.

“Is he dead?” Harry asks with a harsh breath.

“How would falling out of a sleigh kill him?” For such a smart person, Harry is the dumbest fuck Louis has ever met.

“I don’t know. Concussion?” Harry shrugs helplessly.

“Harold, honestly, how do you not know anything about how humans work?”

“My name is _Harry_ ,” He crosses his arms and glares at Louis, “And I know two humans.”

“Well, now you know three.” The drunk lets out a snore, "Great. He's alive now let's give him the whiskey and leave."

“We can't leave him in the middle of Germany, Louis.” Harry rolls his eyes and walks towards the man, standing and looking over him.

“I wouldn't say we're in the middle,” Louis follows him, just to be annoying, “More to the left-”

“That isn't important!” Harry looks at him like he can’t believe Louis is even a real person.

“I think you need some whiskey.” Louis raises an eyebrow in challenge.

"Louis!" Harry shakes his head.

"Yes?"

"I will not have any whiskey on the job!" Harry clearly doesn’t know Louis very well if he thinks he would. Well, he would get drunk on the job, as long as there was at least one person sober. So if Harry had whiskey, he wouldn’t.

"I have some vodka too."

“I won't drink and drive.” Harry puts his hands on his hips.

“I'm the one driving.” Louis leans on the sleigh, smirking.

“Not anymore.”

“I haven’t _actually_ been drinking,” Louis rolls his eyes, “I’m not an idiot.”

"Am I in heaven?" The drunk stirs from his short slumber.

"Look, I know Harry looks like an angel, crafted by God himself,” Louis should probably stop talking, “This isn’t heaven, babe.”

"I look like what?” Harry smiles smugly at him.

"Nothing.” Louis can feel the blush crawling up his neck.

"An angel?" Harry chuckles, low and deep.

"Shut up. It's the rum talking." Louis decides being scolded is probably better than being embarrassed.

"RUM?"

“I meant whiskey.” Louis’ gone and put his foot in his mouth. Again. He feels like slapping himself in the forehead.

“No, you didn't. How much alcohol do you have?” Harry could not look more disappointed if he tried. Louis doesn’t like to be the one to put that expression on his face, but he’s good at it.

“Enough.” He replies, arms crossed.

“It's never enough.” Drunk mutters from where he lays at their feet.

“Shut up!” They both yell.

“I'll shut up if you give me some fun juice.”

“Harry?” Louis nods his head toward the leather encased man on the floor.

“No.”

“Yeeesss.” The drunk hisses.

“You heard the man.” Louis laughs slightly.

“This is really irresponsible.” Conflicting emotions flicker over the boy’s delicate features.

“But so so riiiggghhht.” The drunk wriggles.

“Yes, Harold.” Louis snorts, “Right”

“I won't condone this.” Harry purses his lips.

“But will you stop me?” Harry doesn’t answer.

“I think he means no so gimme.” The drunk makes grabby hands at them.

“Got ya.” Louis reaches for his backpack and pulls around ten bottles out of the bag, deciding which he is willing to give up.

"Wha-" Harry looks on in what can only be described as ‘disgusted awe’.

"Shhh,” Louis holds up a hand, “It was precaution."

"For what?"

"Accidentally calling you an angel." Louis mutters, looking at the man on the floor in a terrible state. More alcohol probably won’t do him any good. He puts the bottles back in the bag.

“Was he speaking German?” The drunk’s eyes widen when a man walks past on the phone.

“So you admit you called me an angel!” Harry seems to have only just clicked.

“Are we in Germany?” The drunk continues, sitting up and looking around the alley they are parked in.

“I admit nothing.” Louis remains stoic.

“But you just did.” Harry smirks.

“Santa is real.” The drunk breathes.

“I didn't.” Louis shakes his head, only just managing to keep his blush at bay.

“Did too.” Harry argues, smiling fully now, dimples and all.

“How old are you again?” Louis swerves the subject. He’s not good with humiliation, at all.

“Is Santa real?!” The drunk cries.

“Yes! Now shut up!” Louis shouts at him.

“Louis, don't be rude.” Harry scolds.

“You weren't exactly being kind earlier. The man wanted booze and you didn't oblige.” Louis raises his eyebrows and gestures to the man, whom is now muttering to himself about Santa and elves.

“Stop being pedantic.” Harry scowls.

“Oh my god.” The man lies on his back.

“We need to go,” Harry looks at his watch, “Time has been going for an hour.”

“I'm in Germany and Santa is real.” The man breathes.

“Nice observational skills.” Harry looks down at him condescendingly.

“Now who's being rude?” Louis sticks his tongue out.

“Fuck off.” Harry spits.

“Fuck me.” The drunk exclaims.

“No, you're drunk.” Louis tuts.

“I’m Zayn.” The drunk, no, Zayn giggles.

Louis looks around the alley and tries to think of solutions. They can’t leave him here, but it isn’t a good idea to take him with them either.

Unfortunately, it’s their only option.

 

“New York,” Louis sighs as they walk up a flight of stairs to some flats with no chimneys. It’s a good thing his lock picking skills are high, “Always wanted to come here.”

“The decorations get better every year.” Harry smiles but it falls when he nearly drops his pile of presents.

“Don’t you think it’s a little weird that people with kids are living here?” Louis frowns, “Like, Santa only delivers to people who believe and that’s only up to 10 year olds, really.”

“I come to these guys every year,” Harry smiles, “They’re definitely not ten.”

They’re at least as old as Louis. There’s a studio flat near the top of the building, and the tree is in the opposite corner to the bed where two men lay sleeping, legs entwined and blanket only strewn across their feet.

“They’re called Liam and Niall,” Harry says, not whispering anymore since they know time has stopped this time, “They never stopped believing, not even once. Every year since they were kids, we’ve been bringing presents.”

“That’s actually adorable.” Louis watches as the two don’t stir, obviously, as time is standing still.

“I know,” Harry smiles and places his pile under the tree, starting to move them into a small gathering, “I’ve watched their whole romance unfold. They lived on the same street as kids, and were best friends outside of school. In school, though, they didn’t talk because Niall was popular and Liam wasn’t.” Harry smiles fondly at the two, “They figured it out eventually, moving to New York together to start a new life.”

“How do you know all that?” Louis looks at the side of Harry’s face, only lit by the frozen Christmas lights on the tree behind them.

“Niall used to leave notes,” His smiles flickers slightly, “I kept trying to get Santa to read them, but he never wanted to.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Louis laughs, but it’s hollow, “He wouldn’t know love if it was under his foot and sent him tumbling to the ground, knocking him unconscious.”

“I’m sorry he didn’t care about your birthday, Lou.” Harry gives him a small smile.

“Me too.” Is all Louis can say before he sees that there is stirring in the bed.

“Oh my goodness.” One of the boys, the one with shorter hair, squeals, “Santa! Harry!”

“Harry?” Louis turns to him, “He knows your name?”

“Hi, Liam.” Harry gives an awkward wave, “He woke up one night when I was in his room, I had to sing him back to sleep.”

“Niall,” Liam whacks the sleeping body next to his without looking, “Niall, _Niall.”_ The other boy jolts awake and grabs something from under the bed.

“Intruders!” He yells, waving a tennis racket out to his side, hitting Liam in his bare chest.

“Ow!” Liam rubs his pec, “No, Harry and-” He looks Louis up and down, “Mini Santa.”

“Mini?” Louis cracks his knuckles, “I’ll show you mini, boy.” Harry pulls him back by the loose collar of the Santa suit with a shake of his head. Niall seems to have only just woken up, blinking at Harry and Louis like Christmas has come early, which, Louis guesses, it kind of has.

“Santa!” Niall yells before leaping out of bed and running to Louis, engulfing him in his arms tight enough to make Louis let out a shocked gasp, “I love you so much.”

“He loves you too.” Harry winks at him and Louis tries to make his glare as fierce as is possible while being hugged by a 20 something year old man child.

The lights stop flashing again.

“Harold,” Louis tries to contain his anger, “Please tell me that’s the settings of the lights and not time stopping.”

Harry looks absolutely delighted when he turns back from the window.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that.”

“Time cannot freeze when I have a bloody man-child latched onto me!” Louis squeals, trying to struggle out of Niall’s grip and miserably failing.

“Tell you what,” Harry smiles, “How about I do to them what was done to us to make the time stopping not affect us.”

“What was done to us?” Louis breathes heavily, his chest constricted.

“That coloured gas that comes out of the sleigh must have done it, I can’t think of anything else.” Harry pulls something from his jumper pocket, “And I just so happen to have a bottle of it.”

“Why do you have a bottle of it?” Louis wrinkles his nose.

“Why did you have whiskey?” Harry raises his eyebrows then walks up to Louis and keeps eye contact as he pours some of it over Niall’s head.

“I love you so _so_ much, Santa.” Niall continues to blubber and sways them slightly.

“Alright,” Louis struggles out of his arms, “That’s enough love for today.”

“Hey,” Niall is looking at Liam confused, “Why isn’t he moving?”

“Because time is frozen,” Harry replies, making his way over to the bed. How Louis wishes that sentence could be in a different context, “Here.” He pours it over Liam’s head too and the man leaps out of bed too as if to hug Louis as well.

“Nope!” Louis steps back, his hands in front of him, “I am not being hugged again.”

“Aw.” Liam stops in his tracks and pouts, like a kicked puppy. Louis sighs.

“Fine,” Liam’s face lights up, “Bring it in.”

“Thank you!” He skips over and pulls Louis into a bone crushing hug. Lungs... Burning… life… flashing before his eyes.

“Louis and I need to go, Li.” Harry pulls the man off Louis and his feet hit the ground. He didn’t realise Liam had picked him up in the first place.

“Take us with you!” Niall and Liam say at the same time, both looking like puppies begging for a treat.

“We can’t.” Louis says at the same time Harry claps and cheers, “Sure!”

“What?” Louis pulls him away and turns around so they can have a two man huddle, “We can’t take them with us, you idiot. Aren’t you meant to be the responsible one?”

“I’ve always liked them.” Harry looks back over his shoulder with a pout, “I’m sure it won’t hurt.”

“It could hurt,” Louis nods, “So many things have gone wrong already.”

“Minor problems.” Harry insists.

“You cried when we knocked that one tree over.”

“It was a nice tree. We broke a bauble.” Harry looks like he’ll cry again.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Yes he can, he’d do anything to see Harry smile, “But we can take them with us-” Harry starts to cheer, “But only if they help get the job done.”

“Okay.” Harry grins and kisses Louis’ cheek before turning around to tell the others.

Louis can still feel it when they set off again, a drunk in the back and two children hiding in men’s bodies crammed in beside himself and Harry.

 

They start going quicker than before. When Zayn sobers up, they give him some water and get him to help too. When not drunk, he’s actually a pretty chill guy. He doesn’t seem all too freaked out that he’s helping Santa’s son and his elf friend deliver presents on Christmas Eve. None of them ask why Santa isn’t there, but he knows they’re all wondering.

He can’t really see himself telling them he knocked Santa out because he smashed a bottle while drunk any time soon.

“I feel right Christmas-y now.” Zayn muses when they all gather back in the sleigh. They’ve got the hang of the timer, and at the moment it’s 4 in the morning so they should be alright for time, even with the time they lost with time starting again.

“Hard not to when you’re in the mother fucking sleigh!” Niall squeaks in delight.

“You’re embarrassing yourself, dear.” Liam scolds but it’s light and teasing, a smile on his face

“Look how happy we’ve made them.” Harry leans in so only Louis can hear him with a small, private smile on his face, “This is what Christmas is about.”

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Louis finds himself smiling back.

“It feels _amazing.”_ Harry whispers gleefully, “I haven’t been able to do this for years.”

“How come?” Louis frowns.

“The Santa before your dad,” Harry starts, leaning away and speaking at a normal volume. Louis misses being able to smell his conditioner already, “He was kind and selfless. We would spend days with time stopped going round the houses and carefully putting the presents in so they looked just right. I never knew that time could start again because both he and your dad must’ve timed it so we got back before it did.” He sighs and looks out into the sky, “I don’t dislike your dad, but I haven’t gone to a shopping centre with a team to make people’s days in _years._ Sometimes he’d even come with us, so children would be sitting on the _real_ Santa’s knee, like all the others thought they were,” Louis can see in the corner of his eye that Harry is playing with the hem of his jumper as he talks, frowning like it’s hard to remember, “Being head elf and not aging was great, back then. Now it’s all business and efficiency, like the magic of Christmas is gone.”

“I’ve never liked Christmas,” Louis admits and Harry’s head snaps to him in shock, “It’s always the day after my dad didn’t celebrate my birthday. The day after I’m reminded I’m not more important than his job. He sleeps, all day. He says that he’s so tired from giving out presents that he needs time to himself,” Louis’ hands tighten around the reigns, “Tonight has probably been the first time I’ve felt truly happy in years.

“Me too.” Harry puts his hand over Louis’ on the reign with a small smile, “I got you a little something,” He removes his hand to get something from his pocket, and Louis immediately wants to snatch it back, missing the warmth, “I’ve had it since we set off but you pissed me off so I thought I wouldn’t give it to you.”

“Thanks.” Louis scoffs.

“I spent a lot of time on it, so don’t laugh.” Harry finds whatever it was he was looking for and holds it out for Louis to take. It’s a small, red bauble with the words ‘Merry Birthday, Lou’ painted onto it in silver, along with intricate snowflakes around it and a little smiley face inside the ‘o’ of Lou.

“It’s wonderful, Harry.” Louis smiles down at the glass in his hand, wondering why he ever thought Harry was an arse hole.

“See what I did?” Harry points to the letters like a proud child, “I said merry birthday because your birthday is so close to Christmas.”

“I love it.” Louis looks up to find Harry glowing in the dim lighting only provided by the moon and stars.

“I hoped you would.”

 

“Last country.” Louis sighs as they near land, “Oh god.”

“The sun is rising.” Harry breathes.

“Is this Australia?” Zayn raises his eyebrows, “You know Australia is way ahead in the time zones, right?”

“It would’ve been lovely if you had said that earlier, Zaynie!” Louis rolls his eyes as he swerves down so they land on a nearby roof.

“What are we going to do?” Harry panics with wide eyes, “This whole country will wake up without presents from Santa.”

“Every child who believes,” Zayn shows emotion for the first time, “Won’t anymore.”

“I’m definitely getting fired.” Harry puts his hands over his ears and sinks into his seat.

“No,” Louis furrows his brow, trying to remember something his dad might have told him when teaching him to fly the sleigh, “One of these buttons has to do something that can help.”

“Christmas is ruined,” Niall sniffles, “We ruined Christmas.”

“It okay.” Liam pulls him into a hug as Niall starts to cry into his t shirt. Louis casts them an apologetic glance before looking at the buttons again.

_“This one,” His dad laughs in a memory, “This one is my favourite.”_

_“Why?” Sixteen year old Louis asks, in awe of the technology on the sleigh._

_“It makes the sky go dark and fill with stars,” His dad smiles, “Like the sun has never risen.”_

“Which button?” Louis mutters to himself, “Which one was it? Think _, think.”_

_“Can I do it?” Sixteen year old Louis reaches out, eager to touch the small blue button with a white dot in the middle._

_“No, Louis.” His dad’s face is stern and devoid of humour, “We don’t use that button unless it’s an emergency.”_

“Let’s hope this counts.” Louis presses the button, just to the left near the bottom of the dash. Suddenly darkness stretches above them, the rising sun disappearing and being replaced with a sprinkling of stars and the moon.

“Oh my god,” Niall pulls away from Liam and looks at the sky with wild, childlike wonder, “It’s like magic.”

“It _is_ magic.” Harry claps excitedly, “Let’s get going, this button could be on a timer too.”

“Let’s save Christmas!” Louis shouts, then tilts his head, “Again.”

 

They hurry down chimneys, through doors people have forgotten to lock and windows that weren’t closed. After the amount of time they’ve spent shooting around the world and passing out presents, they’ve got the hang of the timer. All of them get back in time, every time, then grab more presents and stop time again so they can run to other houses.

For some reason, in Australia, less children believe in Santa. It must be because of the danger that lurks round every corner, fucking bugs. Kids grow up fast here.

“We only have a few left,” Louis smiles, picking up his own pile, “Hands in, lads.”

“We make a hell of a team.” Harry says to all of them, but is just looking at Louis.

“Dream team on three.” Niall grins, “1, 2, _3”_

“Dream team!” They all yell, throwing their hands in the air then quickly setting off to do their work.

 

They get back to the sleigh for the last time when the stars begin to disappear, and the sun rises fully.

“We did it.” Harry sighs, looking like he wants to cartwheel until all of his energy is spent.

“We did.” Louis smiles at him too, then does something he has been wanting to do for _years._

He leans in and presses his lips to Harry’s.

“What was that for?” Harry asks when Louis pulls away, but doesn’t look disgusted.

“I guess I kind of like your irritating bossiness.” Louis shrugs, trying to be nonchalant.

“And I guess like your irritating stubbornness.” Harry beams, his dimples deeper than craters on the moon.

“Knew it.” Niall shakes his head in his peripheral vision.

“Same.” Zayn nods, smiling.

“Zayn.” Liam giggles.

“What?” Louis raises an eyebrow.

“It rhymes,” Liam looks at them all as if he doesn’t know why they don’t understand, “Zayn and same.”

“Nerds.” Louis smiles before leaning in to kiss Harry again.

He never wants to stop.

 

“What the hell happened?” Santa yells when Louis and Harry walk in, followed by Niall, Liam and Zayn, who all refused to go home.

“We delivered presents.”

“You did this!” Santa walks up to Louis, “Didn’t you? You fucked this up.”

“He didn’t,” Harry speaks up, standing straight, defiant, “You did. You’ve taken the magic out of Christmas and that is going to change.”

“Yeah.” Niall says, then cowers when Santa sends him a glare.

“And what gives you the right to do that?” Santa raises his eyebrows at Harry.

“I’ve been head elf longer than you have been Santa.” Harry nods, acknowledging his own point, “All the elves will side with me if it comes down to it.”

“We just want it to be more fun, dad.” Louis pleads, seeing Zayn, Liam and Niall all nod where they’re still stood near the door.

“Fine,” Santa rolls his eyes, then finally seems to look at Louis fully, “Why are you wearing one of my suits?”

“Run!” Louis yells chasing the others out the door, “Run for your lives!”

 

All the boys end up working at the North Pole, having had nothing for them where they were anyway. They live in adjacent houses, and go for rides on the sleigh to visit other countries every weekend. Zayn helps design toys, full to the brim with fresh ideas and artistic talent. Niall keeps track of facts and figures, knowing what people want and who has been naughty or nice. Turns out the kid is far smarter than anyone, except for Liam, gives him credit for. Liam ends up coordinating the toy making, ensuring that everyone who specialises in a certain area works on that, on what they enjoy. As for Harry, he continues being head elf, doing anything that needs doing, when it needs to be done. Louis generally keeps the morale up, simply going about his business and helping where help is needed. It’s a good life, Louis has his boy, and his boys, and his dad has finally relaxed.

Louis’ birthday is never forgotten, after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! And i hope you have a great christmas :)
> 
> Visit me on tumblr- girlsf0rgirls


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